:: Keller On Preaching in a Post-modern City II
:: The Church Planter Spouse: Partner in Marriage, Partner in the Church
:: Church-Planter Spouse Competencies

:: You Can Spend Too Little, and Too Much Time With Family
:: Books: Urban Theology
:: Get the RCPC Church Planter Manual
:: Got Church Planting in You? Find Out!

1) Healthy Marriage
Committed to a "ministry" marriage; able to sustain a vital, growing marriage in light of starting a church. Spouse lovingly pursues her husband understanding the demands church planting places on him.

Positive indicators
• Committed to and supportive of husband.
• Trusts her husband's leadership in the church and the
  home demonstrated by respect of him.
• Growing intimacy in church planter's marriage expressed in
  a healthy sex life

Negative indicators
• Verbally undermines husband.
• Attitude of "you live your life; I'll live mine."
• Emotionally and physically distant.

2) Family Life
Balances the roles of spouse, mother and ministry partner while managing her home well.

Positive indicators
• Aware of family dynamics/needs in the context of church planting.
• Prioritizes kids above public ministry.
• Lives contentedly within her means.

Negative indicators
• Fails to set boundaries to protect family life
• Serves the church to the point of neglecting children
• Complains about inadequate family resources

3) Spiritual Vitality
Exhibits a compelling walk with God demonstrated in a humble reliance on Christ and his Word.

Positive indicators
• Lives a life of repentance and faith in Christ's work on the cross.
• Uses Scripture as a source of spiritual nourishment
• Views prayer as a lifeline which under girds her family and ministry.

Negative indicators
• Perceives spiritual disciplines as optional
• Builds her righteousness on her works rather than Christ's work
  which may be exhibited in bitterness over failures/disappointments
  in regard to her family and ministry.
• Views spirituality as a list of duties rather than a vibrant relationship with Jesus.

4) Resilient Self-View
Possesses emotional strength based on accurate view of self rooted in the gospel.

Positive indicators
• Exhibits emotional strength; is not a "push over"
• Able to lead her family in her husband's absence
• Committed to persistent personal development

Negative indicators
• Emotionally dependent
• Demanding of her husband's time
• Overly passive; expecting others to take care of her

5) Honesty
Shows integrity in her relationships in private and public life.

Positive indicators
• Keeps her word; fulfills promises
• Authentic: what you see is what she is
• Maintains personal convictions despite pressures to compromise

Negative indicators
• Makes excuses when unprepared for a given task
• Behaves differently in public than in private
• Gives partial account of events when a full account
  would put her in bad light

6) Humility
Exhibits a genuine and healthy respect for others and a willingness to serve.

Positive indicators
• Full of hope that God will work
• In setting boundaries recognizes limits of what she
  is able to achieve
• Gives credit to God and others

Negative indicators
• Easily discouraged by her circumstances
• Overly sensitive
• Is upset by unexpected demands on her time.

7) Relational Maturity
Is other-centered demonstrating love, warmth and kindness in her relationships.

Positive indicators
• Heart for people; is authentically interested in others.
• Laughs easily at herself; does not take herself too seriously.
• Is vulnerable and open with others.

Negative indicators
• In a public way expresses impatience or irritation with people
• Tends to carry her husband's or children's offenses
• Is either confrontational or defensive in her relations with
  those who differ with her.

8) Spiritual Discernment (Wisdom)
Is able to judge what is needed; keen perception and common sense led by the Holy Spirit.

Positive indicators
• Insightful; able to perceive and understand heart issues
• Able graciously to pinpoint the underlying issue of a personal concern
• Distinguishes between issues of major and minor consequence

Negative indicators
• Clueless to the realities of spiritual warfare
• Deals with surface issues and settles for superficial fixes
• Makes judgments which seldom reflect the obvious consensus

9) Dynamic Networker
Warmly includes others in her life and home; listens well and wisely links people to one another.

Positive indicators
• Values those inside and outside the community of
  faith as image bearers.
• Able to empower and release others to minister
• Uses wisdom in communicating with church leaders
  regarding strengths of individuals

Negative indicators
• Judgmental and exclusive in seeking relationships
• Selfish with her home and time
• Unable to determine what should remain confidential

10) Effective Church Planting Partner
Spouse agrees upon and shares the ministry vision. She is a supportive co-laborer with her husband.

Positive indicators
• Senses a desire to be in church planting with husband
  as a personal call from God.
• Exhibits a willingness to serve even when working in
  areas outside her gifts
• Serves without regard for acclaim

Negative indicators
• Is indifferent to the type of ministry her husband is called to do
  indicated by being clueless in how to be a supportive mate.
• Makes impulsive decisions without thinking of consequences to
  husband or the ministry.
• Ministers out of a sense of need for personal fulfillment.

11) Faithful Worker
Serves God diligently in light of the stage/age of her family.

Positive indicators
• Loyal to the church affirming its mission and values
• Diligent and dependable
• Keeps spirits up in spite of setbacks

Negative indicators
• Grumbles about the church, denomination, or leadership
• Fails to follow through on commitments
• Complains of the demands ministry or family places on her.

12) Contextual Adapter
Is willing to adapt to the many life changes church planting requires.

Positive indicators
• Accepts the risks involved in change, relinquishing
  ministry as church grows.
• Appreciates the culture to which she is called.
• Is willing to adapt her plans and schedule as needed

Negative indicators
• Emotionally pulls the plug when difficulties seem insurmountable
• Seldom if ever changes opinions or routines at home or church.
• Is disoriented by changes and new situations .